How To Handle a Contested Divorce

Divorce is expensive, both legally and emotionally. When a married couple initiates a contested divorce and takes it to the courts the stress on everyone involved - the couple, the children, the in-laws - is kicked up a notch to an even greater level. Contested divorces are just what the name implies, a contest to see who can prevail in a court of law.

Therefore, before you and your spouse escalate your disagreements into a contested divorce and head off to court, it's worth your time to consider both the financial and emotional costs of what you're about to do. Lawyer and legal fees are much higher for contested divorces than for uncontested divorces. Any financial benefit you dream of winning could easily be consumed by the legal fees you're about to incur. And, if you really want to maintain a civilized relationship with your children, or even your wife, a contested divorce will simply make it harder to do so.

Sometimes a contested divorce is really the only way to go. But more often than not, it's simply the pride of the husband or wife that is preventing a relatively simple resolution to the conflicts between the two. It's natural for any injured party to want some emotional payback. That's why it's wise to have a cool down period to let the emotions subside a bit before contesting a divorce. In the end, you may decide not to contest at all, or you may drastically limit the number of items on your contest list. Either way, the decisions you have now made are based on logic and reality, not emotions.

Some of the more typical contest claims involve child custody issues. If their are children in the marriage, an amicable mediation is all the more important. Studies show that the more amicable the divorce proceedings, the better it is for your kids. They'll have less emotional and behavioral problems and they'll tend to do better in school.

Other common type of contested claims include alimony payments. This is especially true in cases where one of the marriage partner's income has grown substantially since they were married, the the spouse feels that they should be entitled to part of that. Prenuptial agreements, while less common, usually form the basis of a contested claim where large amounts of money are involved.

Your rights to contest depend greatly on the state that you live in. In some states, you will have to prove some wrongdoing on the part of your spouse if you hope to prevail in divorce court. Other states, with no fault divorce laws, may prove more difficult in having a successful contest.

If you do decide to proceed with a contested divorce, the next most important thing that you do will be to choose an attorney. You want to meet with your potential new attorney and get a clear indication that he or she will work hard for you and also that you two will be able to work together. And, most important, get a written copy of the fee agreement and make sure that you understand everything on it. Usually, because of the circumstance, people are distracted with emotional and other problems and simply do a cursory reading of the agreement. This can be a costly mistake when you are later hit with a substantial bill from your lawyer that you weren't expecting.

Free Divorce Records
Free divorce records are available from the various state agencies across the U.S. simply by virtue of divorce records being public documents.

Divorce Support Groups
Divorce support groups are valuable institutions that can help the couple get through problems of isolation, loneliness, and depression.